It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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