I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
