Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize