the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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