I'm eating all of the evidence.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You pole danced in your parka.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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