DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wish i was in the wii world.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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