she looked like the bat from fern gully.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
