I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize