I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
