i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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