he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
