Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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