scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
