I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
