I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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