i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's official drugs can't kill me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
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I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
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I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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