this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
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He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
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Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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