This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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