Pants 0. Shit 1.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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