whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
