No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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