TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
