What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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