I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
