Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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