One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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