We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
