Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
