I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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