In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
