i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize