i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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