Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
