who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
