If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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