True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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