absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
