we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
