So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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