just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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