apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
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Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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