I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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