does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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