i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
this is an emotional support booty call
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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