Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
