He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
