I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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