Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
