I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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