If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
