whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
