Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
