He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
