new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
