How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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