I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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