never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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