Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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