You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
