Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
