I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
