I'm lost and stupid without you.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
