Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize