she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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