I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
