With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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