my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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