If you die in college, do you die in real life?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
